Christie Newman, office manager
Giving Ultimatums
We have all been there -- if you can't ask for what you truly want then what is the point of going back and forth to save someone's feelings. At least this way everyone knows where you stand and what you want and there is no confusion.
Driving Fast
It also helps me teach the “younger generation” a thing or too; after all I am from New Jersey.
Being Assertive
It does work.
Supporting Myself
And occasionally others.
Wearing low cut shirts
If you have them, flaunt them! The “girls” like their independence too!
Karri Peifer, co-editor
Clean out the fridge
Nothing says 'I'm an American' like throwing out a trash bag full of potentially edible food. It's my right as an American to have a biweekly fridge purge in which I expel a half-dozen unopened dairy products, the liquefied contents of my crisper drawer and three or four sandwich halves that I couldn't bear to let go to waste in the restaurant.
Complain
Another American right … forget about the people starving in half the world, the ones freezing to death in Siberia or dying of heat stroke in wherever it's hot, as Americans we get to complain about being hungry, full, hot, cold, tired, bored and irritated. We get to have allergies to obscure, invisible indoor pests and sensitivities to specific brands of detergents. And, my personal favorite, we get to complain about the ever-rising cost of fuel, standing in line at the convenience store while our SUV sits running, windows down and a/c on in the parking lot.
Pass unscathed through airport security
Well, this is how we white Americans celebrate our independence. Have you ever hung out at airport security long enough to noticed who's getting randomly selected for searches? A few months ago I watched an American family of four, of eastern Indian descent, an African American couple, a Hispanic family and, yes, one man wearing a turban, all "randomly selected" for additional baggage search … all while I passed through with a water bottle, three lighters, eight matchbooks and a wine key crammed in my purse.
Vote, go to college, apply for jobs and choose not to get married
After all, women's independence is still relatively recent.
Take it all for granted
'Cause isn't that the point.
Kent Jennings Brockwell, co-editor
Get naked, paint your 'parts' red, white and blue and go for a jog
Claim Freedom of Speech.
Get a gun and go Liberal hunting
Claim your Right to Bear Arms
Throw a "Free Beer Festival" in your backyard, invite 45,000 people
Claim Freedom of Assembly.
Throw all of your brother's G.I. Joes in the trash
Enact your Third Amendment rights (protection from quartering of troops).
Print up and distribute 500,000 photo copies of your ex in a compromised position
Claim Freedom of Press.
Stephanie Brummell, staff writer
Running Naked
Nothing says independence like a bare bottom.
Going Braless
There's just something about going through the drive-thru at McDonald's to order a 10 pack of McNuggets, and smirking as you pay the under-paid over-worked cashier…because, unknown to anyone else but you, your two "girls" are as free as birds.
Fake words
I feel a strange sense of joy when I continually use words that aren't real -- therefore shedding my dependence on the English language. Don't get all fershnickled Mr. Webster; the rest of them still need you.
Peeing in public
Of course, if you're anything like my friend (who shall remain nameless) you'll probably be too drunk to realize that the light shining in your eyes is not your buddy mocking you, but in fact, it is a cop's flashlight. And even when you go to give him the "bird" you still won't realize it. It is only until after you're cuffed and thrown in jail for a long number of hours will you then realize the short-lived "independence" of peeing in public, was probably not worth it.
Make a scene
Kids do this ALL THE TIME. They make a huge, loud, annoying fuss is public because they know, they know, mommy or daddy can not fully discipline them for fear of being looked at as the "horrible, child-beating, impatient" parent.
Greg Hershey, Patriot
Drink cold beer...
(made in Belgium)
...in my underwear...
(made in Thailand)
...listening to Tinariwen...
(from Mali)
...while watching a Bollywood movie...
(made in India)
...with the sound off while eating potato chips.
(made in Hanover, Penn.)
Dionne Waugh, news writer
Puke-green hair in dreads
Numerous VCU students attest to this every single year. Hey, at least it makes them easier not to run over when they saunter across Main Street.
Vote Republican
And watch the world around you crumble.
Vote Democrat
And see happiness return.
Pick up or delivery?
There's something so American about eating Chinese food on the Fourth.
Poetic Justice
Like Greg Hershey,
I write in rhyme.
I think I'm cool,
so I do it all the time.